Wednesday, 5 October 2016

停_看_听 (雨中即景)

我们永远也不会知道一份成功背后付出的努力不懈
我们永远也不会知道一份安逸背后暗藏的澎湃汹涌
我们永远也不会知道一份笑容背后隐藏的卑微故事
我们永远也不会知道一份幸福背后挣扎过的辛酸史


今天去上班的路上,下起了倾盆大雨
我不自觉地的感到不耐烦。
打开雨刷和车头大灯,心不甘情不愿的继续车程,前往工作地点!

这时路上有许多的摩多车骑士把摩多车停在一边。。。
有的骑士拿起雨衣准备穿上,要继续在雨中上路;
有的骑士没有准备雨衣,则是无奈地停在天桥底下,盼望着雨可以变得小一点。
我顿时感觉自己是幸福的!
大家不都一样,下雨天的早晨,那么好睡觉的天气!
七早八早就必须起床赶去做工!
一辆一辆的摩多车,
有些骑士是要骑车到对岸(新加坡)准备开工!
有些人是家里的一家之主,
有些人是家里的唯一支柱。
不管刮风或下雨,依旧必须风雨不改的到工作地点!
为了就是胡一口饭吃~

车子再开前一点,雨不停下,很大!
我看到一群外劳,手里拿着刚刚打包好的早餐,早已变成落汤鸡!
他们各个站在路旁,淋着雨,准备过着马路到对面的工厂准备开工!
交通灯转绿了,没有车愿意停下来。
无奈地他们只好冒着大雨,站在路边等着过马路!
没有雨伞,没有雨衣,没有一丝笑意,没有任何防备。。。
我顿时感觉自己是幸福的!
离乡背井,
如果不是自己的国家没有工作机会,
有谁愿意飘洋过海的来到一个人生地不熟的地方工作!
没有家人,没有朋友,没有自己的安乐窝,没有汽车,
下雨天还没有雨衣、雨伞~
为别的国家的百姓,盖屋子、建高楼、铺大路。。。
自己未来的路却一天一点的铺着,看不到尽头~
在别人的国家,靠着微薄的薪水,过着卑微的生活。
我们是该知足了!

过了交通灯,进入眼帘的是一个小小的巴士站。
有学生、有上班族、有小孩和老人~
巴士还没有到,虽然站在屋檐下,
可是还是抵挡不了天空突然下起的滂沱大雨!
全身湿淋淋的~
我顿时感觉自己是幸福的!
巴士,
一个多么伟大的交通工具!
当我们正在愁着没有parking Lot 的时候,还有很多人在等着巴士!
因为不能准确的预测巴士到的时间,很多人都必须在比原定的时间更早出门!
他们把时间都卖给了等待!
巨大的巴士里,成就了多少人的小小愿望!
一个多么方便的代步工具!
巴士到站时的喜悦,对很多人来说,绝对是一天的小幸福!


下雨天,让我顿时感到我是幸福的!
虽然或许还有比我更幸福的人还在家里睡着舒服的觉
这时,让我想起一句话:
我自己感到很难过因为我没有鞋穿——直到我遇见一个没有脚的人。
一直很喜欢这句话!
可是人类总是要在别人的不幸中寻找到幸福,
真。的。很。可。悲。

知足常乐  我深深的体会到了!
虽然我的知足,来自别人的不足!
醒来发现自己还呼吸着,代表我还活着,美好的一天要面对!
眼睛睁开看见心爱的人在身边,代表我并不是一个人,我不孤单!
早上可以准备一份早餐,代表我并不愁吃喝,还一直想着要减肥
八点必须到工作地点,代表我有份安稳的工作,每个月有薪水!
电话响爸爸妈妈打来,代表有家人关心我、爱我、关怀我!
下班后或周末有约——看戏吃饭,代表生命中有要好的朋友圈!
我人生中小小的幸福!
或许是很多人心中的奢望~
我感恩!
真心感恩,衷心感谢!

不管怎样,大家都在努力的生活着!
我们永远也不会知道一份成功背后付出的努力不懈
我们永远也不会知道一份安逸背后暗藏的澎湃汹涌
我们永远也不会知道一份笑容背后隐藏的卑微故事
我们永远也不会知道一份幸福背后挣扎过的辛酸史
每个人都是有故事的人!
不要用自己的眼光看别人!
为每个在为生活努力打拼的人 加油

下雨天——感触良多!

p/s:真的很庆幸,大雨在我到达办公室之前就停了!


Thursday, 22 September 2016

写一首情歌送给你

你的温柔, 是我爱你的理由,
不知何时你会牵起我的手。

默默守候, 一直陪在你左右,
只要一转身我就在你身后。

我的爱够不够, 我在等着你回眸,
心中爱的旋律开始弹奏。

爱的沙漏,无情把岁月带走,
你是否愿意与我长相厮守。

你的吻,你的爱, 像一个礼盒,
拨动我心弦响起一首情歌,
一起 把爱涂上彩虹颜色,
多希望时间能这样定格。

感情不是一加一等于二,
迁就关爱绝对不能打折,
需要呵护耐心灌溉和加热,
把爱写进我们爱的纪念册。

我愿意 我愿意 和你在一起,
一起拼凑爱的一点一滴,
谢谢你给我所有美丽的回忆,
每天晴空万里风和日丽。

甜蜜蜜 甜蜜蜜 不和你分离
勾勾手约定要彼此珍惜
我爱你 我爱你真的好爱你
写一首情歌送给你

Flashback

Accidentally read my own blog.

Last update was 2013, when I just get my offer letter to work as a Pharmacist! 
16/12/2013, noted the ending of jobless life :)
Time flies.
2 years + 9 months. 
Working as a Pharmacist!
From a Provisionally Registered Pharmacist (PRP)  to a Fully Registered Pharmacist.
From a Hospital Pharmacist to an enforcement officer in the Pharmaceutical Division.

I was trying very hard, trying to recall back those days I worked in
 HOSPITAL SULTANAH AMINAH.
A place that nurtured me as a pharmacist. 
Tough, but make me grow strong and great! 
A place that trained me to be a great people. 
I hope I am.... and will continue be an awesome pharmacist. 
A lot of great people met. 
Guided me, trained me, leaded me and tortured me... 
Make me who I am today! 

:)
I had been serving in HSA for 1 year + 4 months
Completing my PRP training!

AND NOW
A different path was taken.
A different field was chosen. 
An Enforcement Officer in the Pharmaceutical Division.
Loving it OR not? 

I don't know.

It is an interesting field, with a plenty of different job scope/department~
a) Licensing (LESEN)
b) Inspection (PEMERIKSAAN)
c) Intelligence (RISIKAN)
d) Raiding (OPERASI)
e) control of the entry point (KAWALAN PINTU MASUK)
f) Investigation (SIASATAN)
g) Prosecution (PENDAKWAAN)
h) KAWALAN FARMASEUTIKAL DAN PERLINDUNGGAN PENGGUNA

Worth to understand the ROLE of each and every department.
Next blog, perhaps? 
:)

Friday, 13 December 2013

The ending of JOBLESS life

Finally, the last call had arrived!
I am going to be posted in JOHOR, as expected.
Happy??? Yes, definitely :) I am no longer JOBLESS.

16th Dec 2013 is going to be a historical date to me.
The day I register myself to the Johor state Health Department (JKN) and I can know exactly which hospital I am going to working soon!
There are 13 of us from USM get posted in Johor.
Great! hehe~ 
Hope for the best for all my friends :)
Really hope there are some coursemate work together with me!!!

Hospital Sultanah Aminah (HSA) is my first option.
It is a huge Hospital in JB...
Red-coloured, with magnificant sea view :)
A busy and hectic one I guess.
I sincerely hope that I can cope with it well :)

*Pray Hard*

Waiting for Monday (16th Dec) to come... ... ... ...

PRP (Provisionally Registered Pharmacist) Life going to START soon. 
REAL SOON.



Monday, 28 October 2013

One step closer

Provisionally Registered Pharmacist
The second letter, from the Malaysian Pharmacy Board, is received. A good sign, meaning that I am ONE STEP CLOSER to be a PHARMACIST (Provisionally Registered Pharmacist,PRP). On the other hand, this means that my way-too-easy-and-free-and-boring life is going to end soon. What I am going to do now is to wait for the last call from the Ministry of Health, to register myself and start my BRAND NEW LIFE.

Soon. Very Soon.

To be frank, I am not so ready, yet. Not so ready to have any commitments and responsibilities, after being so stress-free for about 5 months. BUT, this is what I am supposed to do. OR I should say this is what I am waiting for, after studying so hard for 4 years in USM. Waiting to serve the Nation, the country, the TAX PAYERS :)

I am not so sure, by now, what should I suppose to do to prepare myself. I sincerely hope that all my KNOWLEDGE about DRUGS is still attaching strongly in my brain, after 5 months of 'DRUG-free' period.. I pray silently in my heart that I can have full strength to gracefully go through the 52 weeks of PRP's life in whatever Hospital: working under great preceptors, meeting good friends and colleagues and seniors, earning what-so-ever experiences as well as bombarding myself with even more clinical knowledge...

It is so hard to believe that in another one month time, I will be wearing a white coat and get myself enrolled in the healthcare world. I am SERIOUSLY nervous. Million of thoughts running in my mind. I really hope that I can cope with it well. I should have more CONFIDENCE and FAITH in myself, keep monologue-ing in my heart: I am the BEST!!!

I believe that when the time comes, everything will be fine. REAL FINE. 
For the time being, what I need to do is pray REAL hard for my posting (Johor?Melacca?Seremban?). AND enjoy the every moment right now before I am too busy to enjoy my life. AND perhaps, PACKING (pack my formal clothes and maybe some food, just in case I need to go far away) 

Best of luck to me.
and........
Best of luck to those PRPs that are about to register themself on 4th Nov :)

Sunday, 27 October 2013

The Road Not taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day! 
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


By Robert Frost


This is the poem I love the most.

There is often a diverging of choices for us in some point of our life.
Too much to choose, is often the major problem.
We will never know, which choice is better.
No turning back...
There is NO WAY to come back to the beginning.
But we can choose to enjoy during the journey we had chosen.
Whatever we choose, we are destined to be.
WALK the way we choose...
STRIKE for the best!  
Till the end... ... ... ...

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Big Feast

Lately, I went for a SERIOUSLY super classy Japanese buffet lunch at Jogoya, StarHill Gallery.

It is my first visit there. 
OR I should say this is my first time to pay so much money for a meal.
Not to mention, it is EXPENSIVE, despite the 50% OFF for ladies.
However, I could say that the price is totally worth; for the wide variety of food from Japanese, Western and Chinese cuisine, the free flowing Hagen-Daze ice-cream as well as the romantic and tranquillizing atmosphere.

I do enjoy the buffet, A LOT!
The place and the food is totally amazed me.
And it is really PERFECT to hang out with friends at place like that.
Nevertheless, I can feel my heart-aching.
Not because of the pricing (Well.... Undeniable, price do contribute a little for my heart-aching)...
BUT I somehow feel a bit guilty to having such a big feast while some people in other part of the world are struggling so hard, just to fight for one bite.
After the buffet, looking at my own table and other tables around, inevitable, there is always some wastage of food.
The bad feelings and guilts, again, overwhelming.
The poor need FOOD TO LIVE while others LIVE FOR FOOD!

This sounds pessimistic, but I do feel bad, really BAD!

Just the a Chinese saying goes: 朱门酒肉臭,路有冻死骨

What to do?
I do enjoy A LOT, as well.
Of cause, I am NOT so rich enough to say loudly that the buffet is affordable or reasonable...
But ONCE IN A BLUE MOON... ... 
A little bit of ENJOYMENT for food, sounds no harm... ...
(Though, deep in my heart, I do feel that paying so much money for A MEAL is often UNNECESSARY)

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Young Geriatrics

Geriatric.
I am just like a geriatric with a lot of problem.

Rigid neck. Frozen shoulder. Back pain.
And lately, I found myself with serious problem on my knee.
To be precise, my joints and muscle. Severely pain and stiffed!

Next, my eyes.
Tired and strained eyes.
Blurred vision sometimes ( as if I had taken anti-cholinergics)
FYI, I am actually half-blinded with my thick specs off.

Headache.
As if my brain is overworked.
Overloaded with too much thoughts and worries.

I am just like an old woman.
A young geriatric.

I am pretty sure that these are ALL my fault.
I am not good in taking care of my own health, my own body.
Having a bad posture while reading.
Static for hours while studying or doing assignments.
Caffeine addiction.
Overworking brain.
Radiation exposure.
Over-strained eyes on laptop and handphone.
Poor diet.
Skipped breakfast, sometimes.

As a healthcare professional, i should have know all the good things for health.
BUT,
It is never easy to take it into action.
I am more than worrying, somehow.
I just couldn't make a promise to myself to take care of my own health.

Owhhhhhh....
I guess I need a reminder, from friends and family.
To all, please do remind ME:

1. Do exercise, but never overwork it (as it may injured your joints and muscles)
2. Cut down caffeine intake ( A big challenge. To me, especially. The aroma of coffee is just so tempting)
3. Rest your eyes for 1 mins by looking far away or close your eyes, every 30 mins of work on eyes. ( Is so hard as i never get it done well.)
4. Stretch yourself after motionless for some time while working. MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
5. Breakfast is a MUST
6. Have a balanced diet.
7. Relax yourself. RELAX. Physically and mentally.
8.  Try your best to have enough sleep. In short, sleep whenever you got a chance!
9. Drink more water. Keep HYDRATED!
10. Don't worry, be happy.

All those rules of health are so simple, yet hard to be applied.
I wonder why?

I understand that it is much more easier to say it than do it.
Effort is needed, i know.

I am hoping for a better tomorrow.
BUT before that,
I should be a better me, from NOW onwards.

I am geriatric young!!!!!!!!!!






Sunday, 20 October 2013

Delirium



READING, is always my hobby. Since young.
It is always hard for me to begin to read a new book. BUT once it get initiated, I am totally IMMERSED into it.


Lately, I had discovered AWESOME novel.
The DELIRIUM series by Lauren Oliver.
A trilogy.
#Delirium#  #Pandemonium#  #Requiem#

In this trilogy, LOVE  is a dangerous illness with deadly symptoms. 
Amor Deliria Nervosa. 
In the story, falling in love is totally FORBIDDEN.
Treatment and procedure is available to cure the disease.
Evaluation is made before the procedure. The evaluator will match both with similar score during the evaluation. Get paired. Lastly, after the cure, get MARRIED and live happily ever after.
There is NO Love ♥ between both. Deliria-free.

In the other side of this land, is 'The Wild' in which the 'Invalids' live.
'Invalids' do exist. The UNCURED.
Fighting for survival. Fighting for freedom to Love.
They want Love. TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED!

An interesting story. 
Highly recomended to read.

LOVE.
Everyone wanted it so much. 
Craved for it, crazily.
I wonder why?
Hormonal change, i guess.

Is so amazing to love.
To hug. To touch. To kiss.

However, lately, love is no loger just a boy-girl thinggy.
People often attracted by the same gender.
SO WHAT?
Is fine, actually.
Love is just a feeling. An emotion. A disease.
Involuntarily infect the whole world.
Everyone.






Being UNEMPLOYED: A bless or a curse

I am not so sure if being unemployed for almost 5 months is a bless or curse.
I am far more than FREE at home actually. IDLENESS. But I am not relaxing, neither, at all.

#THROWBACK# 
5 months had passed since I left Penang after my FINAL final exam for my last semester.
With this, I am unofficially graduated and officially unemployed.
It is just like a long long VACATION to me, before I can get a call for work in the Government Hospital.
Is a long WAIT, I guess. Thus, I have plenty of things in my mind. 
PLANNED. But I am never a stick-to-plan type person.

Nevertheless, I do have some meaningful stuff done to fill my free time: 
Having random trips (Perak, Penang, KL, Singapore, Cambodia, Yo Jakarta and Batam),
jogging (REAL jog!), 
dating (with my beloved), 
reading books (I am about to blog about those books I had read. SOON! Stay tune!),
teaching tuition (Surprisingly, I am teaching History...hehe!), 
doing housechore (Exactly a CINDEELLA), 
watching random movies
catching up with high school friends (never out of topics no matter how ;D),
blogging (in which I just started yesterday and just found out that I really have a lot of things in my mind to share to the world)

All these activities make my boring and empty life eventful and happening
At least, I am still doing SOMETHING :)
Not to get my mind and soul left inactive.

It is really BLISSFUL having so much free time and doing anything I LOVE, anytime, anywhere.
On the other hand, being too free at home is also a curse.

Sometimes, my brain tends to work hyper-actively.
There are billion of neurotransmitters in my brain, working diligently.
This is the reason why I always think too much, putting myself in a state of depression.
I like to think in ADVANCED on things that NEVER even happened.
Thinking about LIFE. The PURPOSE of living in this earth.
Keep wondering about every single things.
The world have so much things left UNEXPLAINED.
I know I should STOP that. STOP thinking and worrying too much.

I should have work part time to earn some money OR prevent myself from thinking too much OR maybe work in a pharmacy to earn some experiences.
But I DID NOT do so.
Even though money flows UNIDIRECTIONAL during this whole period... ...
Anyway, I am going to be absorbed into the WORKING PHASE very soon. 

TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK
TIME ticks away slowly, bit-by-bit. 
But it seems like rocketing.
Thus, I am going to enjoy to the fullest before I start my working life.
A busy and hectic one, I guess.







=THE END=









Saturday, 19 October 2013

The road taken: Being a Pharmacist

I am a pharmacist-to-be.
A new phase of life is going to start soon. Very SOON.
Receiving the offer letter as a U41 Pharmacist gives me a mixed feelings of excitement and uncertainty.
I’m just can’t imagine how a pharmacist’s life can be…?
Hectic? Erratic? Or perhaps… FANTASTIC???

A lot of challenges awaiting… …

I am pretty sure that I am going to like this job, or should I say LOVE it…?
At least, theoretically, I shall LOVE this job……I supposed!

However, deep in my heart, I know that it is more than just a job.
#PHARMACEUTICAL CARE# is always the priority (just as lecturers always highlighted on)
Without pharmaceutical care, a prescription is just a piece of nothing;
Without pharmaceutical care, medicines are just simply liquids or pills;
Without pharmaceutical care, lab values are just NUMBERS;
Without pharmaceutical care, a patient is always a patient (We are expecting a healthy one, of cause!)
Doctors might give the best treatment and prescribe the best medicine to a patient.
BUT with the wrong dose OR wrong dosage form OR wrong way OR wrong time of administration,
It is NO WAY to be fine in improving one’s health.

Here, pharmacists come in role J

#THROWBACK# Final Year of undergrad# USM# Clerkship#
This is the time I actually know exactly what is going on to be a pharmacist.

Being a DRUG DEALER is never an easy job, especially when working in a hospital.
It is much more complex and complicated in terms of the pharmacist’s job scope: Outpatient Pharmacy, Satellite Pharmacy, Therapeutic Drug Monitoring (TDM), Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN), Drug Information System (DIS), Cytotoxic Drug Reconstitution (CDR), Management Pharmacy and Inventory and Ward Pharmacy as well as Clinical Pharmacy.

I actually attached to Hospital USM and Penang GH during my final year clerkship.
Observation, rather than hands-on-experience.
Hardly explain everything in words, as the diversity of the role of a pharmacist is AMAZINGLY far beyond my knowing.
It is NEVER just DISPENSING or SELLING medicines behind the counter---like a businessman, just like what people always see in the outpatient counter in a clinic/hospital or a community pharmacy.

I actually enjoyed the time during the final semester, rotating different ward.
Different from the other PHARMACY-BASED department, ward pharmacy is more challenging as pharmacist is not only dealing with drugs BUT MORE---close contact with patients, frequent updates of patients’ condition  as well as communication with doctors and nurses.

Having the WHITE COAT on in the ward is really HOTTT and STUFFFFY, but the feeling of responsibility and commitment as a pharmacist (Well… I am still not a real one, by now) is dominating.

During clerkship, we learn our clinical knowledge by case study-ing.
We clerk a patient, gather all his/her health-related information, identify DRUG-RELATED PROBLEM (or some says PHARMACEUTICAL CARE ISSUES) and lastly focus on monitoring and patient counseling.
We do detect some pharmaceutical care issues especially on the choice of medicine.
Obviously, it is definitely not our role as a PHARMACY STUDENT to question doctors’ decision on drug of choice.
However, as a learning process, a lot of question marks do POP OUT (Often a question mark without question…).
What I am trying to say is that the knowledge on clinical and drug information is really IMPORTANT.
A simple choice of drug has too much things to be considered, for instance, patient’s renal or liver profile, patient’s age, other concurrent illness or concurrent medicines… … the list goes on… …
In other words, a pharmacist should have all those drug information in his/her fingertips.
I hope I can be the one.

Besides having a better understanding about the role of ward pharmacist, on the other hand, I do, sometimes, feel curious that how hectic that doctors’ life could be, until they have no time to, at least, smile? (No Offense)

In pharmaceutical care, sometimes, doctors and pharmacists do think in different way.
Neither RIGHT, nor WRONG in clinical.
There is always a GRAY ZONE.
Just different perception, varying point of view.
Both are getting information from different source of references, perhaps.
Here comes DISCUSSION and COLLABORATION.
It is a life-long learning process, after all.

I feel quite sad; when I was told that pharmacist always work alone (maybe one or two) in ward. Unlike doctors, they work in team (Consultant, Specialist, Medical Officer and a bundle of houseman); as well as nurses, there are pretty much nurses work together in a ward.
 I am pretty sure that most people often neglect the existence of pharmacist in the ward.
 In ward, pharmacist’s role seems insignificant BUT definitely VITAL.
To be precise, all healthcare professional should be work together! It is like doctors, pharmacists and nurses work hand-joined for a better healthcare outcome.

Dealing with patients is another challenge.
BIG CHALLENGE, I could say.
COMPLIANCE is always an issue.
Patient compliance is critical despite the best treatment and the best medicine given.
Hence, another essential role of a pharmacist is to provide patient counselling: giving important advises on healthcare education, teaching the important steps on using special devices (Inhaler, insulin pen, eye drop), as well as some crucial highlights on medicine administration.
I hope I can cope with it well :)

#As the saying goes… …#
Dr. Bala: THINK like a PHARMACIST, ACT like a PHARMACIST.
Prof Syed: The first thing when u look at patient’s case, calculate the CREATININE CLEARANCE.
Dr. Fatah: Calculator is a MUST.
Dr. Chong: Everything you said must come with EVIDENCE!


#Last piece of words#
I sincerely hope that I can be a great pharmacist, soon.
A brilliant one. A smart one. A caring one. An enthusiastic one.
I am joining the crew very soon. The DRUG EXPERT J






P/s: As mentioned above, I am still not YET a REAL pharmacist. Correct me if I am wrong about anything about this career. Hope to have a better understanding when I am really enrolled into it :) 

Best of luck to me!

New member in my life: Tara

She first came into my life on 2nd September 2013.
TARA, unexpectedly, is mine.

I never thought of having a car that early, at least not before I am financially stable. However, I am having Tara in my life right now!
Spending a few thousand bucks of mine for the down payment, road tax and car insurance before getting her. Still, another  5 years paying the bank loan, for the remaining.

The name—Tara, suits her the best.
She is silvery shinning. A small little 5-years-old silver Perodua My-Vi.
She is no longer a virgin as she had an owner before me.
I don’t mind actually.
She is still having functionable and powerful engine.
The down part, auto-locking system is not functioning well (This is bad, especially for someone like me, who is always so forgetful to get my car lock manually while driving)
Other than that, she works perfectly nice to me.

Tara had hospitalized for 2 days, in a few weeks back.
A reckless driver had knocked Tara on her right front door, leaving her a large scar and an uneven surface.
Tara is actually with her engine off by that time.
Pity Tara!
Luckily the driver had paid for everything and Tara was ALL RIGHT.

I am pretty cautious when I am bringing Tara on the road, ensuring everything is fine.
She is great and capable enough to bring me here and there.
Having a car is really a bliss as travelling to place to place becomes convenient.
Tara will be a great helper to bring me to my working place, in another one more month.
I promise that I will take good care of her and be extra-carefully when I am driving on her.


I LOVE Tara J

Thursday, 14 March 2013

发泄


有时候,我很享受一个人的时候~
自由自在~ 可以做自己爱做的事情!
但是,
最近,一个人的时候,我好像不知道自己该做什么好?
或许是没有爱做的事情可以做了~
快窒息的感觉!
说不出的不爽~
想哭可是哭不出来!

为什么最近越变越脆弱?
不管是身体,还是心理。。。
就连理智的头脑也快被感性的心瓦解了!
免疫系统急速下降!
脑细胞和脑神经开始活跃!
有点无助。。。
如果说,一个笑容可以是坚强的代表。。。
那么我大概只有笑容是坚强的!

做人好累!
人,还是傻一点比较好!不要想那么多~

我其实很乐观~
有时一个人悲观,只是希望可以有人关心和注意。。。
因为没有人会担心乐观的人。。。



Tuesday, 3 July 2012

旅行的意义

两天后的现在,我已经是在飞去香港的飞机上!
又可以旅行了 :)
现在的心情,即忐忑又兴奋,即担心又期待!
旅行了好几次,第一次要自己和表姐表妹4人背包旅行!
不知道是个怎么样的旅行!
期待~~~

近两年,mummy迷上了背包旅行!
所以,最近也有机会到处旅行!
多谢Air Asia 和 Tiger Airways =D
近几年,
从台湾。。。
到韩国。。。
到越南。。。
到北京。。。
到沙捞越。。。
到普及岛。。。
都让我大开眼界~

有时候在想,旅行,到底是为了什么呢?

最昂贵的一次旅行,就是去韩国!
因为参加Symposium才有机会去到那繁忙和发展腾达的首尔城市~
和Seniors 还有一些从不同国家来的 Participants~
旅客必到的首尔塔,可爱的Teddy Bear Museum,冬季恋歌的拍摄地点——— 南怡岛,
很多很多化妆品店的Meun Dong, 豪华又奢侈的Shopping Mall, 
还有文化村。。。和好吃的烤肉!
啊!韩国好美 =)
去的时候是夏天,没有机会体验到下雪的感觉~
希望有机会能够Visit 冬天的韩国。。。

有时和家人一起旅行,有时和朋友~带着的是不同的心情!
最重要的是,可以联络感情 =)
无可否认,在一个人生地不熟的城市里,真的可以深深的体会到
“在家靠父母,出外靠朋友”

去了越南———胡志明市两次~
第一次去的时候,就深深的爱上了这个城市!
其实一开始,对越南的印象就是落后和闷~
但是去了之后,就没有理由的就爱上了!
Motorcycle 多过车的马路~
很多很多来自不同国家的旅客~
一排排的Backpacker Hostel~
浓浓的越南咖啡~
好吃的法国面包~
热腾腾的牛肉面(PhO)~
很好逛的Bentan Market =)
真的是一个很特别,很有feel 的国家!
去了2次,第一次和家人去,另一次和另外16个朋友去!
不同的感觉,不同的体验~
唯一不变的,就是胡志明市的人土风情~


想想,四海为家的感觉应该很不错!
有时候很羡慕西方人的潇洒~
他们可以不顾一切,到处旅行好几个星期,甚至一个月!
什么牵挂也没有,带着一个什么都有的大背包~旅行去!

记得去年,在Phuket的时候,偶然认识了2个从Spain来的两个旅客~
一个四十三岁的光头Ang Mo和他的十八岁外甥!
他们一旅行就是一个月,而且就是去了好几个亚洲国家~
多么豪爽啊!
另外也在船上认识了一个去了很多国家的九岁小弟弟!
或许是他们的热情,也或许是这几年旅行给我练来的胆识,
记得那天在Island Hoping 的船上,和他们聊了很多!
虽然我的记忆力有些不好,不太记得我们聊了些什么。。。
但是,那时的conversation是开心的=)
回头想想,至少自己在旅行的时候,也能做到旅人的身份!
就是可以不顾一切,和全然不认识的陌生人东聊西聊!
虽然和他们只是一面之缘~但是,至少是旅行中一些很美好,很难忘得回忆!

另外,记得去年在北京。。。
一个历史悠久,充满着很多历史故事的过渡~
不但让我增广知识,也让我对中华知识有另一种认识~
看到那些百年不朽的建筑物,加上导游精彩的解说,
真的是对中国的百年历史 Impressed 到!!!
深深的以自己身为龙的传人而骄傲!

紫禁城。。。万里长城。。。
绝对是一个毕生必到的地方!
真的是难以用文字和言语来形容的Magnificant!!!
从北京回来过后,真的是对300年前的历史和建筑物崇拜不已!

旅行~
有机会旅行的时候,就要好好把握!

有些人。。。
有时间,没有钱~
有些人。。。
有钱,没有时间~
有些人。。。
有钱又有时间的时候~没有伴~
要不然就是身体状况不允许~

所以,现在有时间~就要好好享受~
虽然我不是很有钱~
但是好好的计划~好好的Control Budget~
还是可以以最Minimum 的钱,到处旅行=)

完毕!

期待2天后的香港之旅~

=D






Friday, 17 February 2012

我的假期

不知不觉一个月多的假期就这样过去了。。。 。。。
整个假期好像过得很充实,又好像荒废了~
回头想想,真的想不起自己做了什么有意义的事情~
或许是没有常常写部落格的习惯,所以对自己的一点一滴也没有文字上的记载!
我只能说自己的记忆力真的很差!

假期里,15天的新年都可以在家渡过~
但是,怎么都没有很新年的感觉啊?
世界变了!大家对新年的意义逐渐淡忘~
就连红包也变成了一种“赚钱”的工具!
我知道红包的意义,但是潜意识里,还是会对红包里的内容比较感兴趣。。。
或许这就是现在的人的思想~
但,无论如何,我都真的是很真心的开心收到红包--不管是钞票或祝福 =)

假期里,原本打算要去做 I.C. 的!
但是懒惰虫一直一直在我身边不离不弃~ 
结果到现在,我的I.C. 还是十年前那张奇怪的脸~
哈哈!好可怕的脸~
虽然现在也没有多漂亮,但是,以前的我,真的好丑哦!
女人啊~总是希望自己可以变漂亮~
但是,真的好难哦~ 
我也不是没有努力~也不是没有付出~
但是,就是到极限了嘛~ 好累!
真的觉得当美女好好噢!
我知道内心的美丽比较重要!但,现实还是现实!
我比较贪心~我要整个人从内到外都漂亮!
俗话说得好:“世界上没有丑女人,只有懒女人”~
唉~我就是那个懒女人。。。 哈哈!
希望明天一觉醒来,镜子里的我是漂亮的 =D


突然在想,我也不是什么懒女人啦~
假期里,我真的是个乖宝宝哦!
我有做家务,每天都要煮饭洗衣服~
难怪我会觉得生活充实 =)
嗯~或许我不是一个一百分的女人、不是一百分的学生、不是一百分的朋友~
但是我绝对是一百零一分的家庭主妇!
哈哈!
如果在家当家庭主妇不会变成黄脸婆,我这就去当=)


假期里,看了好几部连续剧~
先来说说《我可能不会爱你》
相信每个女生都渴望自己身边有一个 *李大仁*
我也是啊~结果我发现自己的男朋友就是一个很好的李大仁 <3
希望我也能成为别人眼里的 *程又青* 
看完这部戏,只能说自己老了!
初老症状:总是喜欢把重要的东西放在重要的地方,然后把这重要的地方,彻底忘掉!
接下来,我也看了《步步惊心》和《宫》
两部都是现代人穿越时空到清朝康熙时代,皇宫里的故事!
说的是康熙的阿哥们为争夺太子之位而勾心斗角的故事!
看了真的是对于大清朝的历史很有兴趣~
有时想想,如果,穿越时空的是我,那会是怎么样的故事?
我想我应该会疯掉吧!
如果让我生活在皇宫里,我应该很快的就被砍头了吧!=P
现代和古代,真的是两个完完全全不一样的世界!
在大清朝里,什么事情都是皇帝说了算!不然就是什么抗旨啊,砍头的~
尤其是宫里的生活~
唉~好难想象啊!
但是,现在的社会却是太自由!变得也越来越不像话了!
应该把坏人都拿去砍头!!!!!!!
哈哈~


随着成绩的出炉,新学期也要开始了!
很庆幸还是能保持好成绩! 加油 =D
下个学期要多多努力!再接再厉 <3
希望可以一直好下去哦!
快开学了~心里又多了一份焦虑与不安!
我想我是比较担心做工吧!
原本以为这个假期要好好读一些课外刊物,提升自己的知识~
结果,说的总是比做的容易!
我什么也没有做到!
唉~懒女人!!!


我承认我是一个多愁善感的女人~
不管是对什么事情--朋友,家人,爱情,学业,未来,生活,金钱~我总是想得特别多!特别容易感到不安与焦虑!
我知道我必须克服!一定要!
然而,我的思绪,却总是一次又一次的让我胡思乱想!
最后,每天睁开眼的第一件事情,就是:害怕
怎么办啊?
唉~对于未来的害怕与不安,
我只能说:既来之,则安之  =)
加油,贝贝 <3
我可以做到的!


该收拾心情了~
又要上战场了~
为新的学期,干杯!!!<3









Wednesday, 30 November 2011

最近

已经有2个月没有更新我的部落格了。。。
之前还说要每天更新的说! 看来我还是不够坚持。。。

最近,
有很多事情压抑在心里,最终还是只有文字能够让我发泄我的郁闷!

其实最近也算是过得很好。。。
有关心我的家人,有一群让我开心的朋友,还有一个那么疼我的男人=)
我很感激~
但是压力还是很莫名其妙的出现在我的日子里~

只能说是自己不好!
最近好像突然间很多很多东西要做,时间也变得越来越少,精神也越来越差,越来越累。。。
忙着assignment 的同时,又有那么多的小考试和什么鬼pharmacy Practice... ...
加上最近又开始在Pharmacy做工。。。
虽然生活是过得很充实啦!但是,压力还是会Involuntarily的出现!

我承认我不是一个可以把每一件事情都处理好来的人~
遇到问题,除了哭,我真的是什么都不会了!
我真的是一个很悲观的人,遇到问题,我的内心里会觉得死是最好的解决方法!
(放心,我很怕死的,我绝对不会去死!XD)
或许是自己想太多吧!自己给自己很多烦恼。。。
我觉得我的Nervous System 的功能很糟糕~不知道去哪里找来一大堆没有必要的烦恼给我不开心!又或许说,是我的头脑malf(x) 吧~只会胡思乱想!
到头来,我也不知道我自己在不开心什么???

对未来,我真的是充满着恐惧~
先别说未来,我每天睁开眼睛的第一个feel到的心情就是“恐惧”~
每天都是在很不甘愿的情况下睁开眼睛~
害怕,担心,不安。。。
这些 -ve 的感觉总是会在我的身边出现。。。 。。。
我不知道我在怕什么?
只是觉得自己的能力有限,也不想再去做什么了。。。

郁闷。。。
无奈。。。

总觉得是自己想太多了!
结果,自寻烦恼!

Haizz....
日子还是要过。。。
功课还是要做。。。

有那么多人关心我,我应该好好过日子的!=)

只是纯粹发泄~
舒服多了!=D


P/S:
不是很善于表达自己。。。
所以脸上总是挂着笑容!
努力的伪装着~
装开朗,装善良,装好人。。。
伪装久了,就会变成真的了=D
变成一个开朗又善良的好人!=)

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Phuket's Happenings

 28th Aug - 1st Sept 2011 vacation at Phuket, Thailand =)

Phuket is really a great and nice place to go, no matter it is for vacation, Honeymoon or BackPack~
I sincerely LOVE beach very much~
It is worth to become a charcoal under the sun of a beautiful island =)

=Simon Cabaret Show= on the first night~ Great and awesome show by LadyBoy in Phuket~


=At Home Hotel= Day 1 and Day 2 accomodation =)


Day 2 : James bond Island Hoping
It is the BEST day among all days in Phuket~
Meet people from different countries like Spain, Belgium,  India and also a 11 y/o boy boy from Klang =)

"Hi, Where are you come from?" Here starts our conversation... ...

There two man is from Barcelona, Spain =)
The man w/o hair is a 43 y/o man called pakor (Smt lidat...... If not mistaken XD)  and the tall boy boy is his 18 y/o nephew called Albrado. He is damn tall for his age.... lolx!
They visit to Thailand for 20++ days....
I was wondering why they are so free and so rich... hehe =)
But is so nice to backpack around the world ~



This guy is from Belgium =)
He travel all ALONE to Thailand for 2 weeks... ... with his DSLR =)
Bravo~
Guess his DSLR all are pic w/o any human being...  =P





The lil boy is a 11 y/o boy from Klang,Malaysia.
He is damn cute and talk a lot...
Cant believe that we are able to chat about Ben 10~ (Thanks Jaxon XD)

He is very friendly and talkative... hehe~
And he is damn scary as he said he can see things other than HUMAN BEING....... WOOOOOOW~~~~ =.='''


And lastly is another Indian boy from India i met on the boat! Before coming to Phuket, he had went to Ipoh.... He just graduated from collage with degree in Electronics =)

Is great to meet people around the world in other country! Thanks god my English is still not that poor (At least still can communicate) English is really damn important ! =D

Canoeing ~

Viking Cave

Muslim Village

Panyee Island

Day 3 : Phi Phi Island Hoping


Thai Island

At Night~ when we come back from Phi phi Island day tour, we stay at APK Spa and Resort =)
And... we visit Bangla road in which a lot of BARS and CLUBs locating =)


Along Bangla Road

Day 4 : Sight seeing around Phuket along Patong =)

First stop: Karon View Point with nice and spectacular view

Monkey show

1 hour elephant ride =)


Lunch at sunset View point (outdoor restaurant at top of a little hill with sea view)

Wat Chalong
At night, we had a damn great and GRAND buffet dinner and watched FantaSea show =)
Phuket FantaSea Theme Park


FantaSea Show at Palace of the Elephant =)

Thursday, 21 July 2011

+无题+ 纯粹发泄

好久好久没有update我的部落格了。。。
快一个星期了。。。
haizzz....最近迷上超没有营养的facebook game...
就是在虚拟的世界开了一家医院。。。
在虚拟的世界“救” 了很多病人!
真的不知道那个笨游戏有什么吸引力,竟然让我一直人坐在电脑前面玩啊玩!
真的是很没有意义,但是却无法自拔!=P
haiz....
然后就是monopoly milionnaire...玩到也快疯掉了!
如果没有开电脑,我就是玩 angry Bird!!!
玩到我快变crazy 了!
真的不知道发明这些游戏的人  有什么企图!
是不是要让人掉进他们的陷阱,然后全部疯掉,
他们就能统治全世界?
我竟然不小心掉进陷阱了!
我真的是个废人!
希望我对这些没有营养的游戏可以是 三分钟热度!哈哈!


我不明白的,
就是男生最喜欢的线上游戏---DOTA!!!
上网去搜查了一番, 原来
D-O-T-A = Defence of the Ancient
名字倒取得和好听,很特别!
我一直一直都不明白这个游戏有什么好玩!
以前中学的时候起,差不多每个男生朋友都有玩,
他们甚至还会相约到cyber cafe 玩!
那个时候,我就在想,这个DOTA到底是什么东东,那么有魅力?
后来才知道是打架的游戏!
其实,我不是很理解它的魅力!
反而觉得很无聊!
然而,隔了很多年。。。也就是今天,
我的弟弟也长大了!
竟然在我的电脑玩起了DOTA。。。
我还是不可理解,但还是在他的旁边观看了近一个小时!
其实我还是觉得这个游戏很无聊,但是,
在旁边观看那么久的我,更无聊!哈哈!
虽然很不明白那些人的想法,但是。。。
喜欢玩angry bird 的人也好不到哪里去啦!哈哈!
(后记:后来我发现我的玩DOTA的朋友成绩和头脑都很好。。。所以我跟我弟说,要玩DOTA也要好好读书! 因为成绩和头脑好,玩DOTA就叫 帅!!! 如果成绩和头脑不好,玩DOTA就叫衰!!!)


最近真的是荷包大出血!
braces 的钱还没有搞定,又要到Kuching 花一笔钱,
现在又要买那么贵的书!
haizzz............
我真的是穷到暴了!
负债累累!
真的不知道为什么书可以那么贵?
但是,人再穷,也不能穷知识!
所以只好忍忍痛!
希望 自己可以勤劳点,不要白买书!

最近的我除了一直在玩game之外,
也做了不少蛮有意义的事情!
最近都有在阅读!读reader digest 学英文!
把很多优美的英文句子和不明白的英文生字写在我的 “宝典”里!
希望这种习惯不要不要不要三分钟热度!=)
阅读,真的是一个值得培养的兴趣!

前几天,我的senior借了我2本我即将要买的超贵参考书让我看看!
真的是可怕的厚,够力的深奥!
真的没有想到,我长大了,是时候读和看这种比较有深度的medical书!
有点难以置信!
还是没有办法接收,但这是事实了!
应该要多读点课外书本!
不然,我真的是很糟糕!
加油吧,贝贝!

这整个假期,我觉得我的钱是有出没有进!uni-direction!
真是的!
每天就是窝在家里当灰姑娘,当宅女,当煮饭婆,当司机,当书虫。。。 。。。
真的是multi-tasking =D
不过,这样的生活,说好听是充实,但是,还真的是没有营养!
有点anti-social的感觉!哈哈!
 但是,假期也去了不少地方玩!
算是扯平了!

但是。。。。。。。 银行的钱快空了,是事实。。。。。。 =,(
有点想痛哭的感觉。。。 。。。

Thursday, 14 July 2011

爱我的人与我爱的人

就是他!
爱我的人    与    我爱的人,
很庆幸是同一个人 =)

要在这里分享我的宝贝! =D

2009年,我们在KMPP不小心相遇了!
那时,我们同班,第一次见面,大概就是在电脑室吧!
他迟到了,而整个电脑室只剩下我旁边的那个位子~
就这样。。。我们认识了!

不知道 爱神是什么时候悄悄的来到我们的身边,
也不知道 月老是什么时候 偷偷帮我们绑了红线!
我们相爱了!

不知道是为什么 我们会走在一起的~
(无可否认,或许是因为我太寂寞吧!)
 哈哈!
我想是因为   天时、地利、人和吧。。。
在对的时间,对的地点,遇见对的人 (吧!)
XD

这就是缘分!
为什么这么说呢?
因为我们都是从两个不同地方来的人,
原本互不相干也就算了,
竟然 还可以有缘到 2nd intake 拿到同一个KMPP...
然后又超级无敌有缘的同班!
真的是很神奇!
后来,相爱了!
更是难以置信!=D

在一起也有2年多了,可是我们见面的天数加起来,
大概也只有2、3个月吧!
因为,我们在谈的是一场不算很轰轰烈烈的远距离爱情!
要见面,有时真的比登天还难!
不管是上槟城还是下笨珍,车程都要5个小时左右!
加上我们的上课/假期时间都不是很协调,要见面更是难上加难!
可是,或许我们都够成熟,恋爱也够稳固吧~
这样 聚少离多的爱情 也让我们一直幸福到现在!

我们大概都是用电话和简讯联络!
偶尔 会用web cam 聊聊天!
坦白说,我觉得我们真的是expose to 太多的radiation 了 XD
哈哈!

我的宝贝跟别的男朋友真的很不一样,
他一点也不浪漫!!!
但是,他说:“我没有喜欢过女孩子,所以不会这些东西,所以你要教我!”
所以,我都很坦白,礼物也是讨来的!哈哈!
就连一直bear bear 也是讨到半死才有的!(小小bear bear XD)


我们的爱情很简单,
没有玫瑰花、没有烛光晚餐、没有名牌包包。。。
但是就是很幸福!
也许是因为我们都很现实吧!
有时这样真的很不浪漫,但是,这样的爱情有时候很幸福!
至少,我觉得很幸福!

我宝贝是一个超没有自信心的人!
所以,我在他的身边,希望可以给他打强心针!
它很容易压力,也很容易不开心!
我很庆幸自己是一个有耐心的人~
我希望我的存在可以改变它,让他开心!
哪怕只是一点点  =)
反正我就是希望他可以很开心,很有自信的过每一天!

其实,我们两个很不一样!
他很低调,我很高调。
他很节俭,我有 一点点 奢侈。
他很腼腆,我却太过爱讲话。
他很不浪漫,我超级无敌浪漫。
他很现实,我却超幼稚的。
他对很多事情都是“想太多”,我却对任何事却太“没有想法”。
他对任何陌生人都充满着戒心,我却可以和刚认识的陌生人聊天。
。。。。。。。。。。。。
但是,人都是不完美的,
就是他和我的 “恰恰相反” 填补了我们彼此的不完美!
或许这就是所谓的 opposite attraction ba =)
我不知道,反正现在相爱,就是要学会接受!
我们就是因为这样,一直一直都爱着彼此 =D

我们的爱不算是很轰轰烈烈!
可是,在一起也有很多很多美好的回忆!
一起在pondok 吃面包加tuna,一起玩volley ball,一起吃你最爱的Mc-D,一起outing,一起在Pongsu cafe吃薯条,一起读书聊天,一起考4 flat,一起聊diabetes and hormone,一起吃roti canai,一起看电影,一起闯槟城,一起抱抱,一起去P.Redang旅行,一起游泳,一起去Batu Ferenggi 度假,一起去大排档吃东西,一起去极乐寺,一起走mall,一起挤KTM,一起吃sushi king,一起喝奶茶吃地瓜,一起到海边散步,一起玩monopoly deal,一起拍照,一起跟jaxon玩,一起看你弟弟变魔术,一起在厨房煮饭,一起洗碗,一起晒衣服,一起。。。 。。。
好希望未来还有很多很多的“一起。。。” 
一起制造更多更多,更美丽,更美好的回忆=)

我很爱我的宝贝,
虽然每次都跟他说我要出轨!(XD)
但是我都是骗他的 (虽然有时会一个不小心,偷偷精神出轨 =P)

我不能100%肯定我们是不是彼此最终的那个对的人,
不是不相信你,也不是不相信我自己,
只是觉得   “幸福没有捷径,只有经营~”
让我们一起努力,一起好好经营我们的爱情~
让我们一起走到故事的最后最后,
一直幸福的走下去,
好吗? =D

我爱你,小老公 =)